turn to the next page

he looks at me like i was ms. perfect and that makes me so comfortable. we lead these passionate debates who-knows-about-what, and he seems to be excited. yes, we couldnt wait to get to that point- yes, you know what point. i like it more than i want to, and i am not as strong as i should be, but i didnt care too much. 

in the silence, between taking those deep breaths and wetting the sheets in the soft light, he says he thinks he loves me. i roll my eyes - it actually sounds funny. and, i get scared. loving me for being... good? oh no, please. 

comes over the next night, stays for another day, leaves on friday, but doesnt come back. 

i find myself thinking i need him here. 

once again, i am where i dont wanna be