na 23tie

och, je tu chladno, reaguje na studeny vietor. nechavame romantiku pri jazere romantikou pre ostatne pary. citim si otlaky, on nic netusi. je sebavedomy, rozhodnutia robi lahko.

vo vytahu je s nami starsi par. stlacil gombik dvadsattri.

paperie

luce sa lamu na chumacikoch topoloveho paperia. agaty spustaju strapce, pekne biele, silno medove. skryvam sa do listov vinica, potom do kvapiek vody, do bezstarostneho pocitu. vsetko je velmi jemne, krehke, vzacne: od pokozky, cez slova, po sekundove myslienky.

ak by sa mi velmi pacil, uz by som sa s nim davno rozlucila, stokrat by som odolala zavolat, sto dalsich by som uz mala na male urobit tak. zavolal on po dvoch tyzdnoch. desat minut sa mi zdalo privela.

teda, uvidime sa v sobotu

vecerna

vecer. teplo. po dlhom case.

obdivujem davy ludi, pary, muzov v bielych koseliach. babicky s natackami konzultuju s inymi babickami co vencia pudlov. svetla sa odrazali od jazera a ja som si vytvarala kratkodobe spomienky. makke, prijemne. spomienky bez slov. s chvilkovymi tuzbami. tuzbou prave teraz zabludit. stratit sa v ulickach, spomienkovat s perami v usmeve. v tieni jarnych listov co obrania pred uv lucami poulicnych svetiel.

nasla som cestu domov.

napisal aky bol zvysok vikendu. strategicky si to vypocital, pan pravnik.

invitation.

please, come. i hear the echo of his message. i just exchanged a few emails so far with him- mr. dj. a cutie. a few years... okay, maybe over a decade - older. 

need to find a girl to go with me. i noted when talking to him. but i never did. i have no real girlfriends over here. oh well. so i went by myself. a few encouraging words and another few songs sung with the radio made me really believe i was not a shy girl. because it is never bad to listen about beautiful eyelashes and how cuute, how damn cute you are.

walked in. waved on him and felt sooo f.ing stupid that i wanted to leave within a minute, but guys just started talking and asking, and talking... he comes around soon, but im already too busy.

i let the guys take my number. i will decide if i want to see them again tomorrow, when i sober up. when not spoiled by kissing and never-ending street wandering.

he invited me for another party. weekends just about to start.

sorry, no color

im colorless. 

even thou i pump hot red blood through veins. 

no color

even thou my skin has two brownish shades - one on the areas covered by tiny swimsuits, the other exposed to sun.

sorry, no color. not today.

to prove it, i show you my pink tongue; maybe other pink things too.

run out of ink.

youd be asking if my eyes are green or blue with a bit of grey, but id be just smiling. and, loving you.

but not today. sorry.

connection

na pohlad zaujal. stal vo vlaku, biele botasky, biele podkolienky, modre kratke trenky s nepravidelnymi zopranymi pruhmi. siltovka miestneho hokejoveho muzstva, pod nou tmave vlasy, fuziky a vyplestene oci. chvilu bol ticho a potom zacal svoj nepretrzity monolog.

zadusam sa smiechom. silny arabsky prizvuk a jeho prejav, miestami aj v anglictine, znie neuveritelne krasne. svet je este vesely, ked tak nacuvam chichunaniu nad sebarozhovorom. v jeho plynulom rozpravani hladam spojenia medzi jednotlivymi vypocty o zarobkoch restauracii, poistkami, a ludmi. po chvili vsetci traja okolo neho - babka z mexika, mlady poliak, a ja, vybuchujeme smiechom.

konecna.

-he's hilarious! a math major, i'd guess. nadviazujem konverzaciu s mladym.

...

-so whats your name? 

-hm... zabka. you?

-Chris.

I liked him. I mean... Chris. I liked Chris.

 

v dazdi

su take dni, ze medova vona tulipanov nuti kracat trosku pomalsie. prebehujuc cez dazd lupienkov jabloni, ruzovych aj snehovych, tusim, ze by som mala byt stastna. povedali mi, ze som inteligentna a self-motivated. najlepsie interview ake mali za posledne dva-tri roky - to povedali sefke. predieram sa cez husty dazd lupienkov, kyvam rozkvitnutym hruskam z vlaku a citim sa ako v dazdi.

mexican star

night out with a boy. a movie, funny one. eating at portillos shortly before they close. having good time, laughing, making jokes of ordinary stuff.

you want me to drop you off?

unless you really want, i answer.

i dont care, you want me?

nah, its right here, but thanks.

we hug. i walk towards my house. a few steps ahead, a young rapper keeps turning my way. didnt noticed it till he asked: are you following me?

? first, i thought he was joking. yeah, i giggled. no, he was serious, for real! i added: if  you go to my house.

oooh, big sight. i thought you were with those cops!

shut, did my sapphire jacked reminded anything of police? secret agent? CIA? man in black, but in a costume consisting of a white shirt, jeans, and a green jacket?

maybe he just wanted to think of himself as of a star.