loosing the grip

 i wanted to fight!

look for daises, count the stars, water the plants on my window desk. i didnt need a lot - or, at least, i always tend to believe that. just so you let me bring you daises, correct me when i miscount, water them when i forget. tell me how you feel.

as always, the dedication to become happy flew away. its maybe somewhere in asia now, maybe japan, or -possibly- its a step closer to the moon. i stay at work for longer than i should - the numbers, the results, dependency people created on me - that makes me feel good. it makes me feel not alone.

everything was ready for the fight. weapons, mostly the female ones, logistics, soldiers. last minute, im giving up. leaving. running away. very far away. maybe japan, maybe even the moon. 

connectivity

i love touching people...

i noticed :)...

there is a need to continue our conversation, we just moved from a real setting into an online one. always something to say, to ask, to discover. serious things are left for times with a glass of wine, simple dreams can be shared and stored in my organized mailbox.

i am thinking that i have never felt so attracted to a man. never tried kissing such little lips. never dated anyone with a baby son. 

touching is nice. connects me 

move-on. and on

i uncovered his secrets. he would not admit that i was right and kept making up stories. 

~good bye~~

saturday night, the first date with a guy i felt very attracted to. after half an hour and a glass of wine, im leaving that place - thinking we misunderstood each other. later, we find out that he was sitting by the bar, did not notice me walking in. he is shy when we say bye after hours of talking. kisses my cheek very briefly. 

i melt. next time im posting something, i might be entirely melted 

background check

im doing a very detailed back-ground check on him. true, i could ask, but i want to know about things he wouldnt tell me. i want to know every fact google can find. 

it just doesnt seem right. everything perfect. he comforts me about his feelings, has an answer to all my questions; this mr. perfect say he shoots for NG, flies to africa like every other week. everything seems to fit in, just... that feeling wont go away...

too bad he has such common name