i like it simple

this is the minute to talk about past few days. we exchange basic information and feelings and sketch our plans for next few days -  necessities of our unreal relationship. i thought you would not come... i thought you would play unreachable, he says. you should, he smiles.

for a moment, i didnt know what to answer. but not with me, he adds instantly raising his eyebrows. i do what i feel is right, no games, i try to rationalize my behavior. why would this forever-single man want a kitty to play with him?!

leaving ten minutes to eleven. im flying above all this, all our quiet, electrifying moments, above the feelings, needs, and desires. the touches provide me with happiness, but no satisfaction. kisses say too much, but have no meaning. i know goosebumps are highly temporary. like snow in april, like sunny morning, like falling in love on saturday night.

i just like it simple. no games, no pressure, no future. with him

its complicated

people hide behind words. its complicated, supposably.

no... it really is not.

like take myself, for example: simple. so simple. i should choose one, because thats how the society approves it. but, im kinda enjoying both. simple: i dont want to pick, so i wont until i must. or lose them both.

what happens in new orleans, stays in new orleans

they are stopping us, asking if we are looking for some more beads. j. and i smile; no is the answer. too cold to show our breasts, and, potentially, i wanna go to politics! yeah, yeah, you got me, im also too shy for it.

bourbon street is overfilled with people. they just won the super bowl, who-dat is the slogan. we chat with randoms, we laugh and dance on the streets. it j.'s bday; shes a few years older than me. who cares, that doesnt stop us from starting this big outdoor dancing party - for sure the only one in whole new orleans. people stop by, we dance with them, make them feel comfortable. it works out great, and j. says its her best bday ever.

its 3am. music slowly disappears from open bar windows. im hiding under the arm of a boy from arkansas, j.'s walking with a dark-skinned alabama bunny. she is as excited as if this was her first time kisser. we stay in a little bar - her keeping the small talk with the boy, me dancing... dancing with mine. time to go, i say. frequent stops we make when the boys walk us to find a taxi make the morning come faster. 

i had one quick thought about the post-valentine dinner im taken to today. im not gonna hurt him, promise. what happened there, stayed there.

a mini break

sorry writing,

youve gotta share my free time with other passions. 

yours truly

zabka