waiting

broskinova stava mi tecie po brade. po stehnach od kolien kropaje potu, boli ma lavy vajickovod. ak by si chcel chlapca, tak dnes je ten den. 

dokoncujem tu 30stranovu analyzu. myslim na neho cez stlacanie gombikov na telefone, cez ciastocne elektronicku hudbu, cez tie kropaje potu na mojich stehnach.

viem, musim pockat do nedele. som si sama na vine.

mala by som pytat viac. ale nebudem. poviem mu len, ze even if i never regret anything, that doesnt mean i cannot be careful. i dont regret falling in, but i dont think we are at the same page. good luck, sweetie, good luck. because what i do, i do it with all my energy, passion, i put whole my hearth into it. and i want you to do the same. if you cant... oh... then... sorry

nuz co, ked mne staci aj broskynova stava na brade

illusion

they told me i look like young brooke shields. cool. i asked if it was good or bad, but they just kept talking between each other that its because of my eyes. 

so i looked her up and watched some blue lagoon clips. nah, its not my eyes, its my boobs. 

prepracovany

vyzdvihujem si ho z prace. je nedela vecer a on musel este nieco dorobit. za poobedie som bola stastna a nestastna niekolko krat - but to vyzeralo, ze sa stretneme, alebo nie. 

ma vykrcene tricko, boli ho chrbat, a nedockavo vyzera casnika. dotykame sa nohami pod stolom. hovori mi o jeho vikende, o jeho malych neteriach. viem, ze povedal viac, ako by obycajne chcel. zistila som, ze toho nepotrebuje vediet tolko ako ja. zvlastne. 

rano si citim poskrabanu tvar.

nebol oholeny

google friendly

my days are about waking up early with the first thought going to the calculation of when i will go back to sleep again.

back home from work, i enjoy my long breakfast, and the rest of the day i nap, burn my butt on the sun, read paper and summaries.

i miss him. 

when i google his name, the picture pops out. so hes smiling at me with one corner of his lips positioned a bit higher than the other. it makes me miss him even more

stranger

after some time - in this case pretty early - us, women, start analyzing. maybe i do it too much or too little - dunno - but there is a whole bunch of questions i try to answer in that worst moment ever. 

he is, he is not, him that and that, and i am not sure if i like it. if i could put up with it. 

i can take pretty much everything - explaining myself that not everybody is thinking the way i am. but i cannot handle the fact he did not look back when i was leaving. he does not include me in his weekend friendly get-aways: i cannot see he is falling for me. 

i felt like a stranger today. i think the next time he texts me, ill be busy.

bed sheets smell fresh and clean

an old one.

drevene dosky

davno nalakovane

zo studenych okien 

letny vetrik vanie

slapaje v piesku

len tak ta privedu

chces ovoniat cas

mylis sa

nechcem ta oklamat

zamotat motuzy z hodvabu

nechcem ti navraviet

ze sa nic nestane

ked

zostanes

(2005)

dychajme baranky

krajina ubieha za oknom. je to take carovne pomenuvavat oblaky podla tvaru. basnit o trojskych konoch a dvojhlavych drakoch, diskutovat o prasiatkach a divych svinkach. nachvilku navstivit jednoduchy svet. paci sa mi to.

mam cas mysliet na nieco nepodstatne, naplanovat uplne sialene veci. take, co sa netykaju zajtrajska, kariery, rodiny. 

tak kecame o dolezitych skutocnostiach so stvorrocnou a posielame si vzdusne bozky. na otazku preco? odpovedam vzdy uspokojujuco. deti ma miluju. mozno by som jedno aj brala. vravim, dnes sa zaoberam tymi nerealnymi planmi.