looking for what i want, or, better, how i want it, has given me strength to refuse dates, ski trips, or bar hopping. i just ordered catch 22 and hope it will come before i get on the plane. have never read heller in english. cant wait to do it now! if not, ill take the german version of america and will pretend everything is crystal clear to me.
(i just turned down two guys asking me for a date for months. they could not understand how come i know i would never fall in if i dont even wanna try. no, i didnt say i wasnt attracted - it doesnt make any difference anyway. call me shallow, i dont care)
i actually like this silence. no txts, no calls, and if there are any, i pretend i left my phone at the north pole. im making plans about future and its magical. i paint, i clean, i organize, read every column in the paper, and watch the newest movies online. i am alone. must feel right.
if it did feel right, it would be wrong. we dont want that.
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