i want out

looking into the rearview mirror, i feel like they are chasing me. it makes me quite calm, this feeling of all cars behind me, like horses on a horse race. i make up different allegories, different stories, i think about different people - so i do not have time to question my behavior.

i want to get out! out of this crazy cycle of attraction games. im screaming, screaming so loud that nobody can hear me. and girls mention: you kinda date a lot of guys. where do you meet them? how should i know? where are you from, boy? how did we meet? remind me, whats your bday; how many brothers youve got? --- ive always been proud of remembering these details. 

oh, baby, i want a back yard big like this and then ill tell you: hey, go, cook something, grill! and youll make me a burger.

well... okay. i cut on calling him

its late at night, or, rather, early in the morning. i walk out - because good girls always come home. rain is pouring, i look over my shoulder - it might look sexy, right? youve gotta run, he says. taking heels off, i catch all the raindrops, warm like summer, streets empty and sidewalks calling my real name, happy, they say, just happy